on the other side of 40

the turmoil of 30s is behind me, as i turn 40. life wise, my aim is still eluding me. i made a promise to myself to make myself better every day now on. that is a whole decade without dad. the forever void. what did i learn in my 30s? I learnt that to deal with people who treat you carelessly, you have to become like a hard steel too. I have understood people who say I love you are not always going to be there when the seas get choppy. That no one is above using my own vulnerabilities against me. I come to understand myself as a woman, mother and a friend, and that I only can control myself, and not have expectations from others, if I want to stay happy.  I have shed my inhibitions to have share and participate in the circle around me. I have understood that not many are as resourceful as I am, or as willing to share with others. I accept and I judge less.

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